It’s July 30th why are my neighbors still setting off fireworks

  • Me: But I have about fifty books at home I haven't read, there's no reason for me to buy these.
  • My brain: Okay, but consider this: more books.


Client: Do you do lemonade?

Me: Do we do… lemonade?

Client: Yes, I was told you do that here.

Me: I’m sorry, this is a graphics and print shop.

Client: I know that. I’m not an idiot. 

Me: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -  

Client: Look If you can’t lemonade these papers for me then I’ll go somewhere else!

Me: Do you mean… laminate?

I feel as though the entirety of tumblr is just a 12 year old trying to make themselves sound cooler than they actually are


comic about how I’ve been feeling recently

I’ve discovered why I tell so many pointless stories

it’s because both of my parents do it

and it’s really annoying

so i apologize to all the people who are regularly subjected to my annoying and pointless stories

  • teacher: alright fold your papers in half
  • entire class: hot dog or hamburger